Step mom

I was running low, I was sad and tired, exhausted. I wanted to run and cry and hide, to eat and drink, sleep, and cry a little more. I needed to hug them close and breathe. They needed so many things from me, but I needed air, time, let's say a tissue. It was late, night, I could hear their sweet souls sleeping, so I texted my neighbour, she ran outside with a bottle of wine. We sat under my porch, her husband was home, mine was working, her children are more or less aged as my kids, well they are not mine, they are my husband's. My friend and I talked so much. I feel relaxed and relieved. We mainly spoke about me. I am the new wife, I am the step mother. She, the mother, ran away one day, after dropping the kids at school, I do not know if she was planning it for a long time or if the idea came out of the blue, she calls from time to time, I heard once her silent cry, she didn't say a word, she remained quiet, listening, but for a reason she never came back. I met my husband a long time ago, in highschool, we were very close, he called me when his life shifted, I fell in love with his babys. We married, it was like a kind arrangement, a sweetheart arrangement, I am good with kids, that is true, and after all we get along pretty well. But today I need to hear that someone else looses their marbles as well, as today I am totally loosing them raising the kids. I am exhausted, drained. Life becomes so unreal. I am most of the time working like crazy, and for them I might be the robber, but she left, not blaming her, just saying I am here, helping them grow, but under their eyes, she was, she is, she would be much better. My friend tells me that is always like that. Eventually, they will grow, they will see me in all their memories, she might come back one day, maybe, maybe looking for a forgiving hug, maybe just to sneak around, but they will know I was here. They will know I'll always be here for them. Deep in my heart, I thank her, she gave me these beautiful children, without knowing it, without arguing, she gave me a blessed gift. The miracle of holding their hands until they are ready to soar! But my friend blinks her eye at me, "Honey" she says, "Raising a kid is the most exhausting thing ever, so when you feel depleated, call me, I'll always be here for you". "CHEERS!". I said. When my friend was walking back home I realized, how blessed I am, for being able to share my feelings and having someone that will not blame me, that will just listen. And that might be a solution for many, for many of us!