Timing...

There are things in life that are so certain. There was this peacefull feeling when I was near you. When our eyes met there were words spoken, for every word we spoke we  agreed. I still feel your fingers the way I sensed them when I was holding your hand, I still feel this incredible conection that we named friendship, and was natural and true to be. We shared so many thoughts, so many writings, so many songs and laughs. I still believe that we shared a feeling that couldn't have matched a beter timing. I long for you. O dear! If we could have a conversation..... our paths are separated. Our language is unspoken. You found your perfect life partner  I found mine. I am melted in him and by him and in a very special way I thank so much for our conection and our timing.

Spinning wheel

I would love to slow down....everything. The amount of work, the amount of homework, the pressure, the competitiveness, the meaningness.
What about a no-homework afternoon. Walking the dog calmly, baking cookies, or playing a gameboard with the kids. Take them to the park for an emjoyable afternoon. Writing notes to grandparents or visiting someone in need....but in this pressured world... it seems there is no time for vanities...unless you have a seven zeros account. And with that other problems might arouse...

Magic childhood angel

As soon as you take up my thoughts there is a warm breeze that takes up the air. You were forever young, as adventurous and fearless. You could cook like a master and jump like a kiddo. You loved to listen to my stories while grabbing my toes between your fingers. You tought me so much about the art of being quiet as looking for an answer in the encyclopedia. I can relate many things to you and your image comes immediatly, as when I dry the utensils with a clean cloth, or when I wear my grey shoes, or seeing anyone driving backwards... no one would ever do it as good as you did. You felt empathy toward others in pain in such a natural way. You were so important to me. You did an amazing run on that earthquake evening, running 11 stories down to  ground level checking on me... I swear you were the one and only wonderwoman... Last week during three consecutive days I wanted to call you so bad dear grandma. I miss our conversations. The day you were gone , sadly, I had to face the fact that not having you around was the end of  my childhood by all means. I know you are with your loved ones, you were missing them so badly. Take a glimpse at me....keep an eye on us. I will always love you.

Silence in your eyesight

There was a shadow melt with silence in your sight. Because there was  pain picked up in those battlefields. It shall transform you into someone else. And you flee, to America, grab some beloggins, logging for a new fresh start.
Pain is having needles inserted in your heart like heart-worms. Sticking out each one of them is painful. To lessen the pain you worked youself out of exhausion. You built your own empire. You were your own master. But nothing takes out that pain. You talked about those battles, but the pain was still fresh. Your kids heard the stories, and knew that was not the option. And they grew. And then as a final stroke your flesh was torn... your heart broken into a thousand pieces when one of your kids died. A final stroke to mutation. There are no words for that... there was silence in your heart, there was silence in your sight. You were silenced forever. Pain was your cancer. You asked me for forgiveness, but you battled your own pain. It was not me to forgive you...but you. And I blow .... and you fly... and you smile.... and a tear appears....and a poem comes by.... "caminante no hay camino.... sino estelas en la mar" and I feel you might be smiling with a tear in your heart...
Mariejeanne Carro

entre tu y yo

Entre tu y yo hay un mundo de palabras mudas
Que se alimentan de miradas.
Ilusiones que cultivamos de las ganas
Deseos...  para decirte cuanto te amo

Entre tu y yo hay un espacio lleno de risas y de soles.
Hay 4 puntos cardinales y 4 estaciones
Una gama infinita de colores
Risas pululando y tesoros evolucionando


Entre tu y yo




,

The Bridges on Madison County

"This is a movie for aged woman, You won't understand". Those were my mom words. And I wouldn't understand it if I have watched the movie when I was 24.  Twenty years have gone by and I find my self surrounded with teenagers, so I must be Francesca's age. The circumstances are perfect to get a better understanding about Francesca and Robert. As women we fill our bags with dreams and expectations and desires and we live the life we dream and suddenly we realize we are living another ones dream, and we use that bag to nurture our everyday. Robert was living a no commitment life until he realizes that " this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live". Francesca finds herself acting like another woman, yet feels more herself than ever. that kicks me, we should be living life at it's best; with empowerment.

"So here I am walking around with another person inside of me. Though I think I put it better the day we parted when I said there is a third person we have created from the two of us. And I am stalked now by another entity." That is the way every couple should feel about their relationship. Every couple should work on a daily basis to feel these way toward one another. As the marriage ages we should be loving our life partner and feel their hearts and get to know them each day as we mutate on a daily basis.

"When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children, in one way her life begins but in another way it stops, You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you are expected to move again, only you don't remember what moves you because no one has asked in so long . Not even yourself." These were Francesca's words, and my mom added: " You should always remember that before being a mother you were a wife, and before becoming a wife you were a woman that lived to become what others were loving about you, never stop nurturing your inner woman and your couple life, you don't want to find out that you lost yourself"

"If only we lost our minds and arrived at our hearts." then we would be less worried for many things that really don't matter.

 "A much as I want you and want to be with you and part of you. I can't tear myself away from the realness of my responsibilities, if you force me, physically or mentally, to go with you, as I said earlier. I cannot fight that. I don't have the strength, given my feeling for you. In spite of what I said about not taking the road away from you. I'd go because of my own selfish wanting of you. But please don't make me. Don't make me give this up, my responsibilities. I cannot do that and live with the thought of it. If I did leave now, those thoughts would turn me into something other than the woman you have come to love". There nothing else to be added in this paragraph because it's all said.

"What Robert and I had could not continue if we were together, And what Richard and I shared would vanish if we were apart. But how I wanted to share this." it was meant to last 4 days in their schedule and a lifetime in their hearts.

Theses are the quotes that hit me the most. My eyes are swollen...
By Mariejeanne Carro

Feeling saddened

While I remain silent, watching the news about the German airplane that crashed in the French alps taking the lives of highschoolers, two sopranos, some teachers... and regular citizens... 150 in all, my mind keeps wondering about those families waiting for their loved ones to come home.. and it never happens... and I travel back 40 years ago... a plane crashed in Central America , inside were a group of dancers from a group of Spanish immigrants living in Mexico... the dancers were teenagers, some were sisters, some were cousins, and 4 club directors that were traveling with them. They had a dancing schedule to recover funds to help earthquake survivors...they all died 900 yards from the shore. It was a fatality no different than today. My uncle was there and we have lived regretting that day, as I know those families will do. My prayers are with them and my poem to my father goes as I type this keys.

O Father There is a silence in your heart, there is a shadow in your sight
There is a hollow in our space, that can not be filled,
There is an anger in my words, there is a thunder in my tears.
There is a space that will never be filled, that will always remain empty
There is a man torn by tears, crashed by his pain, there is a brother gone.
My father is lying on the floor, he would have taken his place
As he was his best friend, as he was his right hand, as he was his mentor
There is a shadow in your eyes father because I know he lives inside your heart
When a plane crashes, when a building falls down, when a car ignites
a life stops in a second , multiple hearts are torn apart, lives are changed forever
expectations will never be met... and we all have to succeed the pain.
we will learn to live, our hands will never meet again
as your voice wont reach my ears... and still you will live in our hearts.
This is family.. and still I learned to love you uncle because of you father

facing fear

As she has gone through 16 chemotherapies
She is facing now surgery room
her legs are shaking, her hands are trembling
Her voice is weak... her smile is on.
She expects that every single detail will work fine.
We are praying for her, we are there for her,
God will be guiding them all.
As they take out what we woman cherish so much
A new woman will arouse
She will conquer her health. She will live to smile
She will live to laugh
She will come back... we are willing to celebrate with you..
                                       One of your Magnolias and all of your Magnolias

Mariejeanne Carro

brake it down!

Where is the word brake hiding? There is a misunderstanding about spring break, lunch break....winter break... bosses are demanding more from subordinates , teachers are demanding more from students, as homework arrives through email at mid night delivered by a smart phone..... and we are giving away family time.. because homework, because the phone is always on , because we have to give more and we want to push harder... and we forget where is the fine line...
We need a BRAKE
From the time I was,
From the point I am standing at
From the tores and tears of a lost childhood
For your runs, your learnings.... from the books we read to the world you will conquer. I will hold cherished your innocent smile facing the crazy world we are building now...

Lo que aqui guardo

Me regalaste en dos besos la luna y en tres caricias las estrellas. Escondi en mis manos tus palabras y las grave en mis oidos y corazón, y tus ojos brillan cerrados y se anima mi alma al verte soñar. Te dejo dormido cada noche habiendo descubierto un hermoso ser en ti, y amaneces cada dia para enseñarme en que te estas convirtiendo... y me abrazas mientras me aferro a ti y al tiempo, y se me escapan ambos mientras tu ansias crecer. Te miro a ti... y quisiera robarte en el tiempo y dejarte la luna y las estrellas y contemplar el amanecer sosteniendo tu mano que se escapa para crecer, y me lleno de  tu aliento de niño y escucho tu risa que es mi canto y eres mi sueño, eres mi hijo, eres mi carne y mi niño mio.. y tan tu....